What is a Feeling? Understanding Emotions for Kids

Understanding emotions is a crucial skill that children need to develop in order to more effectively navigate the world around them. Emotions like happiness, sadness, anger, and fear are natural parts of life, but often kids need support in learning how to identify or express them. Teaching children to understand their feelings and express them in prosocial ways not only helps them build emotional intelligence but also promotes optimal mental health and fulfilling interpersonal relationships. In this article, we’ll explore what feelings are, why they matter, and how children can express them in effective ways.

Research into emotional development suggests that emotional intelligence plays a critical role in a child's overall well-being. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), emotional regulation—the ability to manage and respond to emotions appropriately—is linked to better social skills, mental health, and academic success. Therapists help patients learn emotional regulation skills through both individual and family-focused treatment modalities, which can be particularly helpful for children experiencing depression and anxiety-related disorders.

When children understand that feelings are natural and part of being human, they’re better able to regulate them. For example, children who can identify feelings of frustration and express them without causing harm to others or themselves are more likely to build more fulfilling relationships with both peers and adults. Individual counseling services often focus on helping children learn these skills through guided discussions and behavioral interventions.



Additionally, research shows that children who can express their emotions in proactive ways experience less emotional distress and have better coping mechanisms during stressful situations.  Therapy for stress management also encourages these skills by teaching kids how to process and articulate their emotions.

1. Teach emotional vocabulary.
   Helping children identify and label their emotions is one of the first steps toward emotional understanding. Use simple, age-appropriate language to explain different feelings like happy, sad, angry, excited, or scared. You might say, “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated because you couldn’t finish your puzzle,” or “I can see that you’re really happy today because you’re smiling.” Over time, your child will be able to identify and express their emotions more clearly.
   
   If your child struggles to express their emotions, A licensed therapist can offer both individual counseling and parent coaching support to help build these skills in the home setting.
   
   
2. Use tools for emotional expression.
   Sometimes words alone aren’t enough for kids to express how they feel, especially if they’re feeling overwhelmed. Art, play, and journaling can be effective tools for helping children communicate their emotions. Encourage your child to draw how they’re feeling or act out their emotions with toys. For older children, keeping an emotion-focused journal where they write down how they’re feeling each day can help them better understand and articulate their feelings.
   
   
3. Model healthy emotional responses.
   Children learn by observing adults, so it’s important to model healthy emotional regulation of your own. If you’re feeling stressed or upset, show your child how to manage those emotions in a constructive way. For example, if you’re frustrated, you might say, “I’m feeling upset right now, so I’m going to take a deep breath to help me calm down.” This demonstrates to your child that it’s not only okay to feel a range of emotions, but that there are safe and effective ways to cope with them.

Understanding and expressing emotions is a skill that takes time to develop but is crucial for children’s mental and emotional well-being. By teaching children the vocabulary of emotions, offering creative outlets for emotional expression, and modeling healthy emotional responses, parents can help their kids build emotional intelligence. Whether through individual counseling services, family-focused therapy, parent coaching support or simple, day-to-day conversations, providing a supportive environment where children can talk about and manage their feelings will set them up for long-term emotional success.



For families who may be struggling with emotional expression or conflict, seeking the help of a child and family therapist can provide additional tools for understanding and managing emotions as a unit.